What a journey this has been. I sit here today with a story that amazes me. A story full of Beauty, Hard Work, Faith, Pain, Sorrow, Joy, Miracles, restoration of Hope but most of all LOVE. After all, that is what it’s all about. Finding a way to be Love in this world. Grayson did that and continues to shine his light of Love in this world. Grayson left the physical world with a story to tell, love to continue, and hope to restore. Today I want to offer you the tale of how our red logo heart with it’s little gold safety pin began.
At Grayson’s Celebration of life, my mom, Joyce, created a simple red felt heart attached with a safety pin for each person to take home with them. The red heart is a symbol of Grayson’s love, and a reminder that love never dies. The safety pin served a practical purpose for attachment but also symbolized “keeping safe” the idea that the love we have for each other is greater than any of our hardships. It is that simple. Many times, we experience something meaningful that reminds us of what is truly important, but life keeps going and we let it slip away. If we don’t purposefully hold on to it and work on bringing it into our lives daily, the busyness of life wins.
The day after Grayson died, I got up and it was time to get dressed. I thought to myself that I didn’t have enough black clothes to wear the incredible loss I felt. Then I felt Grayson encourage me, saying “Don’t wear black. Don’t drown in the sad”. I pulled out a shirt from my closet that read “Choose Love against all odds” and I knew that was the shirt that Grayson wanted me to wear. He wanted me to focus on our Love. It was clear that I had a choice to spend what little energy I had left, on how I wanted to respond to my pain. Grayson was offering me an invitation to LOVE ON…. He was giving us permission to truly LIVE. His love made me brave enough to show up and fight for my own life each day. And as he sent me heart shaped symbols of love, day after day, I was so grateful to know that even death could not end our relationship.
Each day, we wear the red felt heart that we gave out at Grayson’s celebration of life. It’s become a symbol of our HOPE. It’s how we keep him close and it reminds us to focus on what’s truly important. People ask me about it all the time, and I have had to retell our heart break over and over again. As uncomfortable as it can be, we have grown to own our story. I get to speak Grayson’s name & share my life lesson. I have come to understand that although I had no choice in losing my son, I do have a choice to honor him in the way I live each day. I can do my best to show up and be my best self- as a wife, as a mommy, as a nurse, as a friend or just a human being.
My wish is that every time you see our logo, you are reminded of the Hope that lives and the Love that breathes into our mission.
With all my heart,
Gabby
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